White Niggers
Chapter 72
Friday, November 29th, 2019, 14:00
Pizzeria "Il Mercato", Vorgartenstraße 126, 2nd district of Vienna
Timur kneads pizza dough. He is substituting for the cook who is sick today.
Timur likes to pound the dough because he is mad. He hasn't heard from Lisa in months. But that's not what he is mad about.
He could have called her or tried tried to meet her. He hasn't done either to avoid finding out she dumped him. Not communicating with her gives him hope. He is mad at himself for not being man enough to face the unpleasant certainty.
That's why kneading dough is fun. It's as if he is thumping his own insecurity.
His mobile phone rings. He picks up.
"Hello, hero of boxes and bicycles!" Zoe says.
"Good afternoon to you, too," Timur says. "How are you?"
"Oh, I'm so good it should be illegal!" Zoe says. "Absolutely fantastic."
There is something fishy about the way she is talking, Timur thinks.
"What happened?" Timur says.
"Lisa is getting married," Zoe says.
Timur gives the dough on the table a harder than usual squeeze. If feels nice to feel its coolness on his hands.
"Hello-o-o!" Zoe says. "Did you lose your speech because Lisa made the right decision?"
"Yes, I can't talk now because I'm crying and sobbing," Timur says. "Is this the only reason you called me?"
"No," Zoe says. "I also want to tell you should give Irmgard a call."
"Why?" Timur says.
"You told her that if you fail to get someone better, you will return to her. As a backup option," Zoe says. "It is rude and savage, but you said it. And now, when Lisa is out of reach for you, it's time to get back to Irmgard."
Losing Lisa is a tragedy, Timur thinks. But I can sweeten it a little bit.
"Lisa is not the only woman in the world better than Irmgard," Timur says. "Most women are. They don't even have to be human."
"What?" Zoe says.
"I'd rather date a rubber woman than Irmgard," Timur says.
"You male chauvinist pig!" Zoe says.
"Speaking of animals," Timur says. "Irmgard makes goats and pigs look like a viable option."
Timur is laughing at his own joke. Not the worst way to cope with heartbreak.
"You are such an asshole," Zoe says.
"It's women like you, sorry, Irmgard who turn straight men gay," Timur says.
Zoe hangs up.
After work he looks Lisa up on Facebook. There are photos of her and her boyfriend. With a little research Timur finds out the location where these photos were taken.