White Niggers
Chapter 57
Thursday, September 12th, 2019, 14:00
Marriott hotel, Parkring 12A, 1st district of Vienna
"I am not crazy," Lisa says.
The waiter brings coffee and cake. Buba starts eating the cake.
"There is a difference between crazy and disoriented, ungrounded," Buba says.
"If you receive new information which contradicts your old worldview, it is natural to feel disoriented," Lisa says. "And I'm trying to find new waypoints, new goals to aim at."
Buba's plate is empty.
"I think you are looking in the wrong places," Buba says.
Where did the cake go? Lisa thinks. How could he eat it so fast?
"Why?" Lisa says.
"We have had a wonderful day," Buba says. "At that event, you had dozens of smart people with whom you could have intellectually cross-pollinated. You didn't. May I ask you some questions?"
"Of course," Lisa says.
"When we were in the park close to that big church, did you notice the circus poster?" Buba says.
"No," Lisa says.
"Did you smell the steak when we walked past that Mexican place?" Buba says. "And the cinnamon and croissants on the Ring?"
"No," Lisa says.
"And have you noticed that we saw two mentions of a guardian angel on our way?" Buba says. "First in the name of the pharmacy next to the diplomatic academy, second – in a statue of such angel on the top of the fountain, at the technical university."
"No," Lisa says. "Why?"
"It's the universe's way of repeating to you that famous quote by Saint Seraphim of Sarov," Buba says. "Save yourself, and thousands around you will be saved. It not only tells you what to do, but also how. It shoves the methods right into your face, if you bother to look."
"I think I'm a little too old for the circus," Lisa says.
"One is never too old for getting out of the mind and into the maelstrom of life," Buba says. "One is never too old to laugh like a child, to decompress."
It's exactly what Dr. Zemanek, Franz, Tim, and Annalena wanted me to do, Lisa thinks. They were just stupid.
He, obviously, isn't. Yet it feels kinda strange that whenever I come up with potentially world-changing ideas, people tell me to get some rest, and quench the thirst for accomplishment with hedonism.
I do believe that I got a little too excited about the whole "true Christianity" thing, Lisa thinks. Maybe trying to recruit a potential father-in-law as a tool to get groomed as a politician is indeed a sign of me being tired. Otherwise why would I even think of doing somehting so immoral?
"So what do you propose?" Lisa says.
"Someone can show you real life," Buba says. "As best it pleases thee. The little world, then the the great, we'll see."
"Someone like you?" Lisa says.
"Why not?" Buba says. "I will be here for about a week."
"Why not, indeed," Lisa says.
Like most inhabitants of Vienna, she suffers from chronic loneliness, caused by living in a city inhabited by humanoid coffee machines.
"I guess, I'm in," Lisa says. "Give me a pin."
"What pin?" Buba says. "What for?"
"So I can sign the contract with my blood," Lisa says. "You quoted Mephistopheles before."
"No need for a contract," Buba says. "I'm not the devil."
About this, I'm not entirely sure, Lisa thinks. Given the way you treated Timur.
"What a relief, Buba!" Lisa says.
Lisa mimes brushing nonexistent sweat off her forehead.
"But there is one condition," Buba says.
"Here it goes," Lisa says.
"When I tell you to do something, you need to actually do it," Buba says. "Even and especially when you don't want to do it."
"Like what?" Lisa says. "Sleeping with you?"
Timur may have been right about him trying to steal me, Lisa thinks.
"You need to decide if I'm the kind of man who would do this," Buba says.
"I guess you wouldn't," Lisa says.
On the other hand, if you would, you should make the impression that you wouldn't, Lisa thinks. Basic game theory. Just like pickpockets dress elegantly in order not to raise suspicion.
"The point of this is that we not only want to have fun, we… you want to get better, more productive, more balanced, right?" Buba says.
"Yes," Lisa says.
"To get better, you need to get out of your comfort zone sometimes," Buba says. "Which means doing things you don't like to do. That's how permanent transformation works. Change is hard. People resist change. But you cannot grow without stepping out of the comfort zone."
I think I can brush him off if he behaves like Timur said, Lisa thinks. That's the worst that can happen.
"I see," Lisa says. "Deal."
They shake their hands.