Pravles Redneckoff 🇷🇺 Z

Capital City Lights restaurant, Fischhof 3, 1st district of Vienna

Saturday, September 7th, 2019, 17:45

A couple of years ago, Timur was dumped by a girl. He was so desperate and so needy, he thought he would do anything to either get her back, forget her, or get someone better.

His desperation led him to the oeuvre of Neil Strauss, Erik von Markovik, Ross Jeffries, and other pickup artists. Something held him back from actually using those techniques, but he remembered them.

One of these writers claimed that pickup techniques, in one form or another, are being applied in all sorts of areas – from selling cars to recruiting people into a cult.

That same writer claimed they work on both men and women. So it was valuable to keep them in mind, even if you didn't intend to use them.

But never in his life could I imagine I'd need to defend myself from Buba's sarging, Timur thinks. But if you look at what he did from the vantage point of a pickup artist playing 5-D chess, it suddenly makes sense.

When I introduced Lisa to him, he pretended not to notice her, Timur thinks. That's negging. Lisa is used to get noticed by men, so someone who ignores her is guaranteed to get her attention.

Then he started courting Zoe. That is, he pretended to court her. Lisa was his target from the first moment. He looked at her briefly, saw she was a "10", and then turned to Zoe. This did multiple things.

First, it put Lisa off guard – he pretended not to hit on her.

Second, ignoring Lisa while flattering Zoe can spark Lisa's jealousy. Lisa may then want to prove to herself she is better than Zoe. It may motivate Lisa to hit on Buba.

Then there was AMOGging. If a pickup artist wants to steal someone's girlfriend or wife in front of her "alpha male of the group" (AMOG) he first needs to take out that AMOG by, for example, humiliating him.

That's why he ignored me in front of Lisa and then sent me off as a waiter.

Then he said, "nice to meet you" to Lisa. That wouldn't be bad, but in comparison with the panegyric he had just delivered to Zoe, this must have felt like a slap in the face to Lisa. More negging.

The next one came when he mispronounced her name, either by accident or on purpose. I tend to believe it was on purpose, because he doesn't seem to have Alzheimer's.

Then there is the push-pull technique. First you show interest, then signal indifference, then interest again. The pickup artist sends mixed signals to the target, which emotionally destabilizes her. And emotionally unstable women can be lured into bed.

So, first he pretends to ignore Lisa (push) and piques her interest. Then, at an opportune moment, her shows his interest (pull) by inviting her to his presentation.

Which, by the way, he did not tell me about, and did not invite me to. Is this another instance of AMOGging?

I don't know, Timur thinks. And as much as I value Lisa's judgment, I don't want to test it. I need to get her out of here.

Zoe returns from the bathroom.

"Let's leave," Timur says to Lisa.

Lisa nods, and motions to take her purse.

"What are you running away from?" Buba says to Timur. "It's unmanly to run away from danger, especially if it's a figment of your imagination."

Zoe smiles at Timur.

She doesn't mind getting humiliated herself, as long as I will be humiliated in the process, Timur thinks. He mentioned danger. He may sense that I know what he's up to.

"I don't want Lisa to get a bad impression of our family based on your behavior," Timur says.

Buba gives Timur the familiar look, "know your place". Buba continues to tell Lisa about his presentation and the celebrities he met.

I am still under his spell, Timur thinks. But I will try until I succeed. Let's try it another way.

Timur sends Lisa a message, "let's talk in private".

Timur hears Lisa's phone give off a sound of a new message. Lisa looks at the phone, then at him. Lisa continues to listen to Buba and types something on her phone.

Timur's phone vibrates. He reads on Lisa's message on the screen: "Too tired for 'we've got to talk' fights."

Timur sends her a message: "Stay away from my father."

If she ridicules me for being jealous, so be it, Timur thinks. Better jealous than sorry.

Lisa writes back: "I'm just having a nice conversation with him. Nothing to worry about."

Buba sees that Lisa is looking at her phone.

"Why don't we go somewhere where there are less distractions?" Buba says to Lisa.

"Can I come with you?" Zoe says.

Buba ignores Zoe just like ignored Timur when he was in his flat.

"That's an interesting offer," Lisa says. "But I need to ask permission from my boyfriend first. We'll be back in a moment."

With her eyes, Lisa motions for Timur to leave with her.

They go outside and stand in front of the entrance. A warm breeze, full with pleasant smells of flowers and shrubs swirls around them.

"Let's talk," Lisa says.

"About what?" Timur says.

Lisa is playing with her hair.

I hope she won't say it's over, Timur thinks.

"Well, first I'd like to know why you want me to stay away from Buba," Lisa says. "You must have sound reasons."

She looks Timur directly in the eyes. She talks with a calm and confident tone.

Her sincerity is like a breath of fresh air, as good as this breeze, after having sat in the crossfire of lies of Buba and Zoe.

"I think he's trying to seduce you," Timur says.

Maybe me saying this is a part of his plan, Timur thinks. Maybe I'm acting as his marionette without realizing it. She will laugh at me.

"It takes two to be seduced," Lisa says. "And I'm already taken."

Lisa strokes Timur's hair, then the jacket.

"I don't regret anything I said so far," Lisa says. "I can go with him, or not. You decide. But I only want you to listen to me."

"I'm listening", Timur says.

Not all is lost, Timur thinks. Yet.

"Apart from getting to know your family, there is one reason I want to spend time with Buba," Lisa says. "A completely platonic reason."

"What reason?" Timur says.

"I'm disoriented," Lisa says. "Everything that I've been working for during the last couple of years turned out to be worthless. I need to find my new place in the changed reality."

At least she is not lying about her being confused, Timur thinks. That's something. It's not something, it's almost everything. Lots of men would have given their right testicle for their wives to be so introspective.

"What does my father have to do with it?" Timur says.

"I think Buba can help me find my new self," Lisa says. "Like you and that guy with the yarmulke."

"Shmuel?" Timur says. "What about him?"

"I saw what happened to you when he hugged you," Lisa says.

"What?" Timur says.

"You smiled, and you got less tense, and your face spoke volumes of how a little boy got what he always needed, but didn't get," Lisa says. "Sometimes old people can ground younger ones, in a good way. Make them connect with reality. Prevent them from doing stupid things. That's what I want out of Buba."

"I don't know," Timur says. "I have my doubts that he is really that wise."

"You decide," Lisa says.

"Pardon?" Timur says.

"I see there are some complex family dynamics going on," Lisa says. "I know one thing or two about that, unfortunately."

Family dynamics, what a word for it, Timur thinks. She is a complete genius, because she managed to describe this clusterfuck of a situation without swearing.

"So, if me hanging out with Buba makes you feel uncomfortable, just say so," Lisa says. "You don't have to give any reasons. You know him better than I do. If it's a gut feeling, that's enough reason for me."

Timur hugs Lisa, then kisses her on her forehead.

With a future wife like this I got nothing to worry about, Timur thinks.

"If it help you recover, you can spend time with him," Timur says. "Just keep in mind that he isn't as benign as he looks. And I'm not sure he approves of our relationship."

"Will do," Lisa says. "Thank you for trusting me, dear. You want to go back inside?"

"Nah," Timur says. "I'll stay here for a few minutes. I want to clear my head. This breeze is refreshing."

Timur takes a few steps around the entrance of the restaurant. He hears the sound of hooves on cobblestone. A Fiaker rolls past him.

I should take Lisa on one of these some day, Timur thinks.

Minutes later Timur sees how Lisa and Buba walk out of the restaurant, both smiling.

At least they are not holding hands, Timur thinks.

Lisa waves goodbye to Timur.

Timur sees how Buba and Lisa approach Timur's van. Timur hears Buba talking.

"Look at this," Buba says to Lisa. "I wonder where Security is."

Buba points at the van.

"Security?" Lisa says.

"Yes. Because this looks like the official vehicle of 'Back To The Future 4'," Buba says.

Lisa laughs.

"Don't be mean," Lisa says. "I wouldn't be surprised if it came with a hand crank. It will work after a nuclear exchange, contrary to all those modern computers on wheels."

"I don't know about nuclear exhange," Buba says. "But it does look like it's been used as a shooting target."

They walk away, laughing.

That balloon rehearsal was in vain, Timur thinks.

I thought me and Lisa would fly up to heaven together, like those balloons.

But nobody brings you down to earth like your own father.

They won't fly today.

Buba is to my balloons what a short circuit was to the Hindenburg.