White Niggers
Chapter 43
Friday, September 6th, 2019, 22:15
Lisa's apartment complex, Vorgartenstraße 204, 2nd district of Vienna
When Lisa comes home, she calls Timur.
"Hi!" Lisa says.
"Hello, Lisa!" Timur says.
"It's a pity we could not talk at the party," Lisa says.
"Indeed," Timur says. "I got distracted by Zoe."
"She is weird," Lisa says.
"I guess it's because of her divorce," Timur says.
"Do you want to laugh?" Lisa says.
"Of course," Timur says.
"But promise me to not tell anyone about it, okay?" Lisa says.
"Promise," Timur says.
"Zoe told me she was playing with a bottle," Lisa says. "It got stuck in there."
"Where exactly?" Timur says.
"Down there," Lisa says. "Lady bits, jasper vase. Get it?"
"Now, I do," Timur says.
"Anyway, she could not get it out," Lisa says.
"You mean it's because of the bottle inside her that she is acting so weird?" Timur says.
"No!" Lisa says. "It isn't in there any more. When this happened, she was brought to the hospital where they managed to extract the bottle."
"Well, it is sort of funny," Timur says. "Some people stick lightbulbs in their mouths."
"That's not the funny part," Lisa says. "Zoe and the gynecologist who took out the bottle got together. He is her boyfriend now. That was love at first sight."
"First sight of what?!" Timur says.
"Ha-ha," Lisa says.
"I hope he did not make any advances towards you," Timur says.
"Don't worry," Lisa says. "He is not interested in women, at least not in me. Probably because he sees more pussy at work than he can handle."
"And now he has one more cunt on his face," Timur says.
"Stop Jimmy Fallonizing!" Lisa says. "My face hurts from all the laughing."
Lisa remembers that she cried in the morning when talking with Dr. Zemanek. Need to get off this emotional roller-coaster, Lisa thinks.
"Well, that's how Zoe is," Lisa says. "And now that bottle stands on a podium in their flat. Like a monument."
"I didn't know Zoe was that kinky," Timur says.
"Don't tell anyone!" Lisa says.
"It's in the vault," Timur says. "By the way, I have a surprise for you as well."
"What is it?" Lisa says.
"You'll see," Timur says.