White Niggers
Chapter 32
Friday, September 6th, 2019, 12:05
Dr. Zemanek's office, Vienna University of Economics and Business, Welthandelsplatz 1, 2nd district of Vienna
"Home?" Dr. Zemanek says. "I hope you aren't thinking about…"
"By 'home', I mean to my people," Lisa says. "Something I know now, but most of my countrymen and women don't."
"I am curious," Dr. Zemanek says. "What is it?"
"Oh, I don't want to hurt your feelings," Lisa says.
"That ship sailed ages ago," Dr. Zemanek says. "Nothing there to hurt anymore."
Lisa looks at her intently, imitating the way Dr. Zemanek looked at Lisa before.
"Okay," Lisa says, and nods.
Both of them laugh.
There is vulnerability in the way she laughs and looks at Lisa. Talking with Lisa may have shaken Dr. Zemanek's belief in the advantages of a childfree life.
No amount of wining, dining, and casual sex can compete with raising a person like Lisa. That brilliance in her eyes is the outward glow of her intelligence and moral purity.
For all her faults, she is a better mother than my biological one, Lisa thinks. Maybe I just needed to have someone to laugh with. Maybe that's why I used to adore her so much. Not because of her intellect.
Speaking of which…
"All jokes aside," Lisa says. "The treasure is the realization that the West is all smoke and mirrors."
"What do you mean?" Dr. Zemanek says.
She is still smiling. Basking in the light of the missed opportunity of motherhood is more important to her than reparations, class action lawsuits, and the presumed decline of the Western civilization.
"The Ukrainians regard the West, including Vienna, as a place where salvation can come from," Lisa says. "That's why I came here. I thought that by adopting Western values, I could bring Ukraine closer to the ideal of Austria."
"And now you don't?" Dr. Zemanek says.
The smile grows fainter, but it is still there.
"I'll give you an example," Lisa says. "You say the West is in decline."
"Right," Dr. Zemanek says.
She hopes this conversation is going in the direction where she can continue to daydream about Lisa being her daughter, but at the age before kids start to talk back.
"This hypothetical decline is somewhere in the future," Lisa says. "So you and smart people like you could do something to prevent, or at least delay it."
Dr. Zemanek shakes her head.
"Instead, you don't even try," Lisa says. "How is the Western civilization supposed to save Ukraine if it refuses to save itself?"
"That's brilliant, what you are saying," Dr. Zemanek says. "Absolutely brilliant."
Lisa is surprised Dr. Zemanek doesn't try to counter.
"There is more where that came from," Lisa says.
"Bring it on," Dr. Zemanek says.
"You said earlier that you support the party line," Lisa says.
"Right," Dr. Zemanek says.
"The Soviets used to bribe people with money and fame so that they would follow the party line, too," Lisa says. "Over time, this political prostitution made the system so rotten that it self-destructed in 1991. Back then, we wanted to become independent from this material and moral corruption. We wanted it so badly that every year, on August 24th, we remind ourselves never to get into that trap of hypocrisy again. And you want me to support a lie in exchange of that Schoenherr job. To become a political prostitute, in other words."
"Well, that's a bit harsh," Dr. Zemanek says. "But… this treasure you found, what is it exactly?"
"It's the realization that the Western intellectual kings and queens are naked," Lisa says. "There is nothing we can learn from them that can help us rebuild or save Ukraine."
"Aren't you making a bigger deal out of this 'treasure'?" Dr. Zemanek says.
"Back in the Ukraine, everyone thinks of Westerners as demigods," Lisa says. "And therefore we rely on the West who eventually will solve all our problems, just like the Pied Piper."
Dr. Zemanek shrugs.
"In reality, that Western Pied Piper does not get rid of the post-Soviet rats," Lisa says. "To me, it looks like he feeds them. And they are getting fatter, more greedy, and aggressive."
"At least he doesn't drown kids in water," Dr. Zemanek says.
She wants to cheer Lisa up, and laughs briefly before she realizes the matter is so serious for Lisa.
"He does, actually," Lisa says. "According to my line of reasoning, it's because of the West that Ukrainians are killing each other. So, the metaphor is fitting: the Western Pied Piper drowns our kids in their own blood."
Lisa looks around, as if she is shaking off the mental fog that gathered inside her psyche.
She remembers the female commander she dreamt about in the Prater alley. That's probably what she felt back in World War II when she realized the so-called allies wouldn't open the second front until it was too late for her brothers and sisters in arms.
Not exactly a victory, but it does bring her closer to the truth, to acceptance of reality, to the right thoughts. And right thoughts may lead to right actions.
Franz and Tim may have been right – talking to Dr. Zemanek was indeed a good idea.
"You asked earlier why Ukraine is an idiotic nation," Lisa says. "Comprised of smart individuals who cannot self-organize and only fight over who their masters will be – the Russians or the West."
"Lisa, I didn't mean it that way," Dr. Zemanek say. "I–"
"Let me finish," Lisa says. "The root cause of this idiocy is the irrational, religious belief in the superiority of the West. My treasure is that now I fully realize there is nothing superior here."
"What about this?" Dr. Zemanek says.
She takes a bottle of Chablis from her paper bag, and waves at Lisa. She is smiling again.
"Alcohol makes for poor counterarguments," Lisa says. "But…"
Lisa stands up and starts putting the folders, her pen and phone into her purse.
"You pulled the blindfold off my eyes," Lisa says. "Now I can see the world as it is. And tell others. That's a treasure indeed. For that, I'm grateful."
Lisa slings the purse over her shoulder and stretches her hand out to Dr. Zemanek.
"Thank you for showing me the way," Lisa says. "And I'm sorry for having wasted your time."
Dr. Zemanek puts the bottle on the table and meekly shakes Lisa's hand. Lisa walks out.
"Have a nice evening," Lisa says, and walks out of the office.
Dr. Zemanek sits there for a few seconds. Then she gets up and tries to run after Lisa.
"Wait a minute," Dr. Zemanek says. "What are you going to do?"
Her motherly instincts surge and catch her off-guard.
"I guess that's none of your business," Lisa says.
"It is my business, too," Dr. Zemanek says. "You are my supervisee, child–ahem, my favorite student."
Lisa doesn't answer and continues to walk. Like a good wannabe mother, Dr. Zemanek senses that Lisa is about to do something she would disapprove of.
"You said you would resign as my supervisor," Lisa says. "So I decided to drop out."
"What?" Dr. Zemanek says.
"You heard me," Lisa says.
They are walking down the big atrium and people start watching them. Lisa sees a few familiar faces.
"What are your going to do, job-wise?" Dr. Zemanek says.
Dr. Zemanek shuffles along after Lisa.
Being in charge never felt that good, Lisa thinks.
"Oh, I will definitely find something like a paralegal position," Lisa says. "Maybe go back to the Ukraine."
Dr. Zemanek is short of breath.
"Stop running away from me, for Christ's sake," Dr. Zemanek says.
Lisa stops and smiles.
"I thought you killed Him," Lisa says. "More than a hundred years ago."
Dr. Zemanek is trying to catch her breath.
"Very funny," Dr. Zemanek says.
She grabs a railing to avoid falling. After running for maybe thirty meters, she looks much less elegant than before.
She is just a sad, old lady, Lisa thinks. And I thought she was a goddess of law, a shining example of Western intellectual supremacy.
"The only thing I'm asking you is to not do anything rash," Dr. Zemanek says. "Take care of yourself. Go to a doctor, maybe. I'll be around. Agreed?"
There is a pang of compassion in Lisa's psyche.
"Alright," Lisa says. "Sorry for making a scene."
Dr. Zemanek makes a movement towards Lisa as if she wants to hug her. Lisa moves away and stretches her hand out. This time, Dr. Zemanek's handshake is even weaker than before.
Lisa goes home.
At home, she can't get the cookie business out of her mind. She Googles Bahlsen, the company manufacturing them, and reads in a Wikipedia article:
From the end of May 1940 until the end of the Second World War, over 700 forced labourers from various European countries, most of them women from Poland and the Ukraine, came to the factory in Hanover.
The majority of the labourers were women from Nazi-occupied Ukraine.
In Austria, even cookies have Nazi backgrounds.